Days like today.

I confess. Some days I wake up and decide I don't want to be a mom of three very needy children. I feel easily annoyed, easily angered, my patience wears thin. I don't want to change diapers and dump out potties. I don't want to make toddler friendly meals or change clothes or pick up toys. I don't want to watch PBS kids.

Most importantly, I want to tune out. I don't want to listen to squeals and screams, to "MINE!" or "NO!". I don't want to hear feet running or listen to excuses for not obeying, or entertain protests from the daily routine.

Today is one of those days. And right now I have everyone in their beds, restless, fighting nap time, and I have retreated to my room to write this post, to have a little bit of quiet/solitude. And it usually does the trick. I know that my Lord is just as real in the chaos, but here in these minutes of peace He meets me. He reminds me that these children, this way, this life, it was all planned out before the beginning. He has entrusted these little lives to my earthly keeping. He has prepared me for this high calling of motherhood. He has me right where I am supposed to be.

And I may not be all that good at it, but at the end of the day, when bellies are full and bath tubs are drained, when nails are clipped and hair is combed, and everyone is tucked in with prayer songs sung ( yes we sing our bedtime prayer) I can whisper in each of their ears that I am sorry. That I will be a better mommy tomorrow than I was today.

Forgive me, merciful God, for days like today.